Tears of sadjoyness.

Just a few minutes away from my house, the doors have opened to a new In-N-Out restaurant. If you're unfamiliar with In-N-Out, it probably means you live in the ho-hum eastern part of our nation and have never experienced burgers that surpass nearly any other under the sun.

I like In-N-Out's burgers. Especially a cheese burger or Double-Double, animal style, of course. Their fries are incredible, and how can you resist dropping a lemon wedge into your Dr Pepper?

And of course, this is the sadness that surrounds my joy. I'm happy that I'm now just 5 minutes away from In-N-Out. But I'm sad because now I will actually need to be a disciplined adult and not eat there every day. That wouldn't be healthy.

So that, my friends, is the source of my tears of sadjoyness.

My newest addiction: Texting.

There are many good reasons I don't drink alcohol. Probably the best for me personally is because I have something of an addictive personality. Getting bottles of booze into my hands probably isn't a good thing!

Here's my latest addiction: text messaging. I'm not totally new to the world of texting, but my texting activity has reached new heights in the last few months. It really got started in November, when I asked friends to send me lots of texts, so I could see how many I'd send and receive in one month. The total? Somewhere around 1,900. Not bad -- my highest month before that was just over 1,500 (incoming and outgoing combined).

In December, the number grew to more than 3,400. In January, I passed the 4,400 mark. And this month? Well, by the end of this day I expect to have received or sent more than 5,100 messages.

This actually puts me into the realm of some students at our church. I talked with one teen yesterday, as I was reaching the 5K mark, and she was around 5,900 at that point.

"Hi, my name is Rob." "Hi, Rob." "I'm a textaholic."

I'm hyperconnected.

This weekend, I entered the hyperconnected zone. I was on my cell phone talking to a friend. At the same time, I was engaged in two text-message chats. I also was talking to two friends in MSN Messenger, and another friend in AIM. I had MySpace open and got a few messages that way, too.

It was almost too much for my system -- meaning ME -- to handle!

How can people contact me?
1. Text messages
2. Email (I have four different addresses)
3. MySpace
4. Facebook (just joined last week)
5. AIM
6. MSN Messenger
7. Yahoo Messenger
8. Old-fashioned phone calls

Yeah, I'd say I have issues...

Rob has issues: Volume 1.

Today is Tax Day. Thanks to the quirks of the calendar and the holiday schedule in Washington, D.C., the deadline has been extended to Tuesday. And I'm grateful.

I don't owe anything to the feds or state this year. In fact, I'll be getting by largest tax refunds ever. That's pretty cool. Especially with the long list of "high-priority" items needed in my life. A new iPod. Patio furniture. Dues to my denomination's district. Ya know. The biggies.

This weekend I went into panic mode. I couldn't find my W2s. Or my forms from the last few years. Or the forms for this year. Ugh! So, first I went and bought software to do my taxes this year. Then I dug through my room. I found the W2s. Cool. Then I found a folder marked "2005 Taxes." Awesome. Oops. Files are missing. I hunted some more. Found old taxes. From the 1990s. Eventually, I did find all the "missing" elements that I needed.

Here's the funniest-yet-most-pathetic part of the whole story. I don't throw things away. It's a disease, an illness, an ailment. I keep stuff. And by "stuff" I mean all my federal and state forms going back to 1992. The first year I filed on my own. While in college. Yes folks, I have my complete history of tax filings still in my possession.

Rob has issues.