Are you my friend?

What exactly is a friend?

The world of social networking has radically altered how we use that word. It used to be a lot easier to know if someone truly was a friend or simply an acquaintance, a classmate, a coworker, or a neighbor.

I’ve been grappling with this issue in Facebook as I’ve “purged” some people from my list of friends. Is everyone on my list truly a “friend” or have I sunk to the level of using that word to describe anyone with whom I have some kind of interaction — even if that interaction hasn’t happen since we worked together a decade ago, attend class together in junior high, or interacted a few times when I was a staff pastor?

So far, I don’t have any solid answers. I know that I’ve dropped some “friends” on Facebook who might be hurt that we aren’t “friends” anymore, but did we really still have an ongoing friend relationship? If we visited each other’s city, would we call or email or text in advance so we could get together? If we lived in the same town, would we go to dinner together or hang out with the same group of friends or invite each other into our homes? If one of us was facing a terminal illness, would we spend time with the other or take the family meals or do something else tangible?

In the year 2010, I’m afraid we’ve dumbed down the word “friend” just like we previously dumbed down the word “love.”

How do YOU know if someone is truly a friend? How do YOU differentiate between friends and acquaintances? Do YOU think we’ve dumed down the word “friend”?

A good time in Old Sacramento.

Went down to Old Sacramento on Saturday with my friend Trista (yes, I know I'm late in posting, but better late than never, eh). We had a good time walking around, checking out some of the unique stores down there, and enjoying a dinner at Joe's Crab Shack. The weather was perfect, and the company was fun.

One of the interesting moments was coming across some "Jesus Junk" that would make Marko proud. In fact, it's probably appeared on his blog before. But this picture is Trista holding up the Jesus Action Figure. I thought about buying it for my office, but decided to hold off for now.

We also ran into some former youth workers from my church. It was great to see them and talk for a few minutes, and then they came to our sunrise service yesterday. Good stuff!

Fun times in Southern Cal.

I've been down in Orange County for a couple of days now. Weather has been ideal, conversations have been great, and it's been a good time. A few of the highlights:

On Thursday, I got to hear/observe the recording of the Simply Youth Ministry podcast at the SYM offices. That was pretty cool, especially since it was the first time they've tried live simulcast online from their offices (an earlier session was done at a youth workers conference a couple weeks ago). I hung out for a bit, talking with Nadim and Andy and Chris, plus the podcast regulars of Doug, Matt, Josh and Jana.

Then I got to hang with Fields for a little while to talk about some book ideas. It was great to get some feedback on the strentghs, weaknesses and possible audiences for the concepts. Good stuff.

Later in the afternoon, had coffee with Sandie Morgan, a good friend for many years. I worked with her and her husband Jean over in Greece back in 2000-2001, and my senior pastor is her brother. Got to spend a little time on the Vanguard University campus, which I'd never really explored much in the past.

Today was great. I slept in. Felt so good to do! Of course, I FIRST woke up around 6:30am, and took me about an hour to go back to sleep. But after 7 hours of driving Thursday, and knowing that I still have a lengthy drive ahead Saturday, sleep is good!

This afternoon, had lunch with Josh Griffin, Jeff Baker and Tony Steward. First time to meet Jeff and Tony, and first time to finally have a long-promised lunch with Griff. Then Josh took me and Jeff on a tour of the new student ministries building over at Saddleback. That's gonna be one sweet place! (The pic is Josh and Jeff showin' off their construction best in front of "The Refinery.")

All in all, good times down here, and I head back tomorrow -- just in time to lose an hour of sleep Saturday night because of the time change! Argh...

The woes of sprained ankles.

I have some odd "reminders" and "anniversaries" that I keep on my smartphone. By far, the oddest is my annual note for January 23: "Call Jeremy re: sprained ankle." Want an explanation? Keep reading.

Five years ago yesterday, my friend Jeremy Anderson and I were playing racquetball down in Turlock. We had been playing regularly, but this would be a monumental day because I sprained during this particular session. Through that whole experience, I learned several important lessons:

1. When you're injured, don't hop around on your own. Use your friend's shoulder to balance yourself as you go out to the car. Otherwise you might fall down and hurt yourself.

2. If you must climb steps with an injured ankle, remember to NOT use the injured ankle on the second step. Otherwise you might fall down and hit your head against the front door of your house.

3. When you get ready to stretch out on a couch, make sure you're careful as you rest your head. Otherwise you might bonk the back of your head against the wooden armrest of the couch.

4. For you Pentecostal/Charistmatic types... If you're speaking in tongues while your body is in shock, be aware of how loudly you're speaking. Otherwise the health club employee may give you a weird look.

I've only played racquetball a few times since that injury in 2003. If you have a choice of breaking or spraining, I'd quickly pick the broken bone because the healing time is faster. It took me a long time to feel truly comfortable on my ankle after that sprain!

I'm a cautious driver -- to a fault, perhaps.

Last night I spent time with some friends (and some total strangers) at a birthday party. First part of the evening was just hanging out at a pizza place; still a fun time. But the second part was a series of races at RPM, down in Rancho Cordova. They offer some intense kart racing, and it was a great time for everyone.

I even enjoyed it, despite coming in last. Seriously. I was dead last in our group of 16 racers. While talking to roommate Dave (who holds the 61st spot in their Top 100 RPM charts; check it out on their website), it occurred to me that I was driving way, way, way too cautiously out on the track. In other words, I drove on the track similarly to how I drive in the real world. Of course, in the real world, I haven't had an accident since October 1989... I've never gotten a speeding ticket... and I've only been pulled over twice by cops (see here and here for more info on that).

So, the moral of this story: Next time I go back to RPM, I need to drive more intensely. Or something like that. I'll also have to bring plenty of cash, 'cause it isn't cheap (it's only real downside).

This looks and sounds gross.

My friend Matt Wilkie, a fellow Evangel University alum and now a member of the Convoy of Hope team, posted this on his blog today. He uses xanga, and I think I found the right way to link to JUST this one post, but if it doesn't work, look for his November 5 entry:

I haven't blogged in a long time, but when you eat balut, you just want to share the experience.

I just returned from Manila where I worked with our Convoy of Hope Intern team. We had fun. Among the fun times...eating balut.

If you don't know, balut is a partially formed duck fetus, still in the egg and boiled for your enjoyment. It comes in various levels of development, but ours had the beak, feet, eyes, feathers and more. Not all ate it, and we could understand why.

Faces and names, vol. 2

Some more folks I saw today here at General Council in Indianapolis:

• Andy Denton
• Matt Wilkie
• Jason and Jill St. John
• Brett Hendrickson (in person, over lunch)
• Chuck Cox
• Glenn Bernet
• Helen Waggoner
• John Maempa
• Vance Turnage

And a whole bunch of other people I ran into on Monday or Tuesday. That's one of my personal highlights from our convention every two years: seeing people I know yet seem to only run into at Council!

Faces and names.

OK, so far at General Council, I've caught up with the following:

• Josh Wellborn
• Paul Logdsdon
• Dan & the Council Today Crew
• Mel "we only see each other every two years at Council" Surface
• Juleen Turnage
• PR office staff
• Ken Horn
• Brett Hendrickson (via text; that counts, right?)

I'm sure I'm forgetting folks, but the odds are they won't be reading my blog, anyway.

Too much for one service?

Ever tried to do a lot in a single Sunday service? That was our 11AM service today. Here's a rundown:

• 2 water baptisms
• Worship in music
• Communion
• Baby dedication
• Missions emphasis
• Funny grad video
• Honoring graduates
• Sermon

Somehow, we managed to get through it all without "cheapening" any of the elements. Still, it made for a very full service.

A few added extras:

• One of our graduating seniors used to always swipe, er, borrow my teaching stool during youth services. Today, we "retired" that stool by giving it to him as a graduation gift. Congrats, J.C., and all the other members of the class of 2007!
• Last time I visited my mom, I found an old box containing my high school cap and gown. So, I put them on in the middle of service, and called off the names of our grads while wearing my high school colors.
• My mom came up today to hear me preach in this service, and she covertly took a photo of me in my cap and gown. I'll work on posting it at some point; I had no idea she took the photo!
• Had some people over to my house after service for a fun cookout. Lots of great food and conversation!

Mike needs to blog.

I have a friend in Turlock named Mike. He's a cool guy, just graduated (finally) from Menlo College earlier this month. He and I ate breakfast today, and he was telling me some stories from his life right now. And I'm sitting there, thinkin, this guy needs a blog.

Example:
Mike and his wife have an apartment. They have a fridge, but it's not the one they bought. The one they bought is in the shop being repaired. So they got this loaner. Only the loaner has plenty of its own issues. Mainly, the fridge door won't stay shut. So they have to keep a chair up against the door to keep it closed.

So basically, his life is SO interesting he needs to keep a blog. He'd have lots of funny tales to keep us all entertained.

Who are my true MySpace friends?

So, what's the proper etiquette for "ranking" friends on MySpace? Should it be based on the friends I chat with most frequently? Should it be the people who are my closest friends in life? Should it be my key student or adult leaders from my ministry? Should it be all the folks who send me free stuff or gift cards to Amazon.com?

I'd love to hear your input. Especially if you're a 14 or 23 on my list but you think you should be a 1 or 2.

I like my Moleskine notebooks, dangit.

On a recent episode of the Simply Youth Ministry podcast, our esteemed friend Josh Griffin made a critical comment about people who walk around with little Moleskine notebooks to jot down their thoughts and ideas and inspirations.

I, my friends, am such a person. I write in mine. I give them as gifts to family. I think they're really quite convenient and cool.

Why mention it in my blog? Because today, I came across one of my notebooks that I thought had been "lost." Turns out it was just misplaced.

But it jogged my memory on Josh's comment.

And gave me a great idea on a birthday gift for later this year. :)

Friends worth un-losing.

This is turning out to be an interesting week. Yesterday I hung out with a friend who I hadn't seen much of over the last couple of years. This evening, I got a phone call from a college friend; we hadn't chatted in many, many months. And then later in the evening, on a whim, I sent a text message to a old friend that I haven't talked to in probably two years; turns out his cell number is still alive and accurate. Tomorrow I'm having coffee with a buddy who caused my long-ago sprained ankle (he didn't really cause it, but I like to be lame and blame him for it), after a long period of time without chatting.

Any particular reason this has all happened? Probably not. But it's a good reminder that just when we reach points in our lives when we're struggling to see who's on our side, we should always remember that there ARE plenty of people who have our backs. And that's a nice feeling.

Hmmm...perhaps I'll label this as my Discovery of the Day. :)