I'd like to apologize.

With all the big-name people in our world who feel the need to apologize (this week alone, Don Imus and Paul Wolfowitz -- what a combo!), I've opted to go introspective and apologize to a few people:

* To that kid at camp in 2nd grade, for throwing his toothbrush into the river.
* To my downstairs neighbors in Berkeley, for creating lots of noise above them during my two-week stay in their multiunit house.
* To the National Weather Service, for stealing a few of their pamphlets on a trip in 3rd grade.
* To various hotels and motels, for permanently borrowing signs from their rooms and stairwells during my years of high school competitive speech trips.
* To Carl's Jr, for doing the same thing to their table numbers.
* To TBN, for the jokes I made at the network's expense last night when preaching about evangelism.
* To my friends at the Simply Youth Ministry podcast, for skipping past all the other questions until I reach mine each episode.
* To Sarah Simmons, for almost never replying to her emails.
* To one set of neighbors, for living in my house for more than 5 months without introducing myself to them.
* To the people in my cabin at camp last week, for all those smells.
* To my long-dead cat, for trimming his whiskers, which he never seemed to enjoy.
* To Jeremy Anderson, for never dropping the jokes about him causing me to sprain my ankle while playing racquetball...4 years ago.
* To Shirley Shedd, for missing her retirement party.
* To Trudy Bryan, for missing her funeral.
* To former newspaper co-workers, for marking all their newspaper designs with red ink.
* To the Turlock Journal, for calling it The Urinal, even when I was an employee.
* To all 3 of my faithful blog readers, for not writing more frequently.
* To my students, for repeating certain stories way too frequently.
* To employees at Burger King, for truly "having it my way" with my burger orders.
* To Vince and Anthony Battaglia, for the silly footage at the end of our camp video.
* To Ernie Lara, for not including his funny footage from camp.
* To that stalker chick, for screening calls and not taking hers.
* To Steven Nelson, for always beating him in chess.
* To America, for voting for Ross Perot back in 1992.
* To America, for voting for George W Bush. Twice.
* To you, if you've read all the way to the end.