The challenge of fasting.

Just read a blog post from Josh Griffin (actually a reposting of someone else's thoughts) on the idea of students "fasting" from text messages. Interesting thoughts. Earlier this year, I did a four-day music fast while up in the mountains. I had my iPod and my car stereo, but I didn't listen to any music on them for those four days.

Fasting is an interesting notion. It's biblical, it's beneficial and it's incredibly difficult. Maybe I'm not supposed to admit that as a pastor, but it's true. Fasting is tough. I have my daily and weekly routines. I like my food. I like my music. I like my media. I like my -- well, all kinds of things!

I like this thought captured in that post about text message fasts: "I told them that if they could not then that cell phone had too high of a priority in their life." Ouch! Anything I'm not willing to sacrifice for a day, or two days, or a week -- that thing probably holds too high of a place in my life.

That's what worship is all about, isn't it? Setting aside our needs, our agendas, our priorities and focusing our thoughts on the creator, lover and redeemer of the world. Fasting helps us grow spiritually because it can recalibrate our priorities and reorient us toward God...who was, and is, and is to come.

5 stories worth a read: part six

After a short summer break, we're back with some suggested reading to dull the pain of those hot, humid, scorching days of July:

1. Harrison Ford, 65, still fit for Indiana Jones from The Associated Press (on cnn.com)

2. Japan learns dreaded task of jury duty from the International Herald Tribune

3. One of 'worst quarters' for Los Angeles Times from Bloomberg News (on iht.com)

4. A new 'modesty movement' aims to teach young women they don't have to be bad, or semiclad from Newsweek (on msnbc.com)

5. UC Regents to consider raising pay for some of system's professors from the San Francisco Chronicle (on sfgate.com)

Have fun.

Some leadership conference pix.

Enjoy.

They (heart) Josh.

My guys are obsessed with all things Josh Griffin right now. This morning, during our youth class (rather informal, since I didn't get home until 11PM last night and hadn't prepped during the week), they were sending Josh text messages. Here's an example.

THEM: "Hey Josh"

HIM: "Hey guys! Hey why don't you go ahead and cough right now in the middle of whatever Rob's doing."

THEM: Cough, cough

ME: "Stop poisoning my students minds"

HIM: "I just told your students to cough"

ME: "Wow, my students have joined the cult of worshiping Griff and Fields. Now they're becoming ur puppets."

HIM: "hahahahaah"

HIM: "Hey Steven, drop to the ground and pretending ur dead"

STEVEN: Falls to ground. Pretends he's dead.

ME: "Weird things r happenin to my students. Good thing I'm not like, at church or something...lol"

HIM: "Amazing. lol"

Anyway, Josh Griffin is a great guy, and I'd rather have my guys looking up to him than some idiot celebrity or some sports star who's shooting up on steroids.

Oh, and speaking of steroids...funny story...

Saturday evening, we're driving home from the greater L.A. area (we spent the day Saturday at Magic Mountain). We stop in Kettleman City, which isn't really a true city, just a collection of various gas stations and fast food joints. We walk into Chevron to buy some water and snacks, and some kid approaches Steven. He kinda mumbles something, Steven gives him a weird look and walks away, and then the kid mutters some colorful word under his breath.

I was a few feet away, so I ask this other guy what he needed -- thinking perhaps that he had a real, legit need. "Um, I'm trying to get some stogies." The dude wanted Steven to buy him cigars! Here are some funny observations on this moment:

1. Steven isn't even 18. He turned 16 in May.

2. The guy was traveling with a group from the YMCA.

3. Dude kept watching me the whole time, probably afraid I'd go tell one of his leaders. I didn't.

4. Steven actually thought the guy was asking for or offering steroids, not stogies.

5. One of our team members had no idea what the word "stogie" meant.

Fun moment out on I-5 in the middle of Nowhere, California!

And for those of you care, I did get some photos from this week's experiences. I'll probably post some later tonight once I'm home, fed, napped and rejeuvenated -- and once the pics are donwloaded.

Student leadership: Final highlights

Right now, we're sitting in a hotel room in Valencia, preparing for our final day of this leadership adventure. We'll be at Magic Mountain much of the day Saturday, and then we hit the road back to Sacramento. I know it's gonna be a fun day -- and a long one, too!

So, what are some closing highlights from the final day of this leadership trip?

1. Chats with Doug
I didn't talk with Doug Fields just today, but it was cool catching up on things and talking about ministry. It also was fun for our guys to meet him and for him to remember the "sweaty" nickname from yesterday.

2. Seeing the SYM offices
Yes, I finally got to stand inside the offices of Simply Youth Ministry... engage in a fun chat with Jack Guiso... see where Matt McGill attempted to break into the SYM podcast room... check out the actual room where the podcast is recorded... and get one last sneak peek at the SYM catalog, which should be in the mail sometime this summer. It also was fun to just hang and chat with Andy, Nadim and Natalie (and yes, we DO miss Natalie on the podcast, though Jana is a highly qualified, worthy replacement).

3. Getting a gym workout...sorta
Our hotel has a small gym with some equipment that actually works. I went down there and used the machines, but the treadmills had some real issues with the running surface; it just didn't work the way it should. But I did manage to get in some time on the stationary bike, so at least I got a workout today...sorta.

Student Leadership: Day 4

It all came to an end today, with one final session at the PDYM Student Leadership Conference -- this one built around the biblical purpose of Worship. We had some awesome time of worshiping God through music (we've had great sessions all week led by Jadon Lavik), along with some fun and games. The Taco Bell Olympics proved to be a messy but enjoyable competition this week; fortunately, I never got hit by any flying food, but plenty of people did!

Today's speaker was Taffy, who oversees the youth worship ministries at Saddleback. He's a funny, energetic, creative speaker who probably has more energy than the average high school student (but he might get beat by a typical junior-higher). Here are a few highlights from Taffy's presentation:

• When it comes to concerts, sports, big events, we make the experience about the team; yet when it comes to being in the presence of God, we think it's about US and not HIM
• It isn't worship if you're asking, "How are you going to please me?"
• What have you placed on the throne of your life -- relationships, priorities, success, identity, money, popularity?
• Mountaintop experiences are great, but when you go back home, how will you live a lifestyle of worship?
• Best biblical definition of worship can be found in Romans 12:1-2
• We're called to be deliberate, intentional, living sacrifices
• You were made for God's pleasure
• Feelings go up and down; that's a constant struggle in the area of worship
• Our faith shouldn't feed our feelings or we'll go nowhere; when our faith feeds our intellect or will, our spiritual "train" will move forward
• Your spiritual life is not a hobby
• When you live a life of worship, you're saying, "Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty," even without saying those words
• When God is everything to you, everything else will fall into place in your life
• Yes, living a life of worship will be difficult, but that's because Satan attacks those who are making a difference

Student leadership: More highlights

Here are some odds-and-ends notes from today's leadership conference. What a wild day, once again.

1. Josh, the matchmaker
Emcee extraordinaire Josh Griffin has been playing matchmaker at this leadership conference, and today (with a little encouragement from my students) he decided to turn his attention my way. He brought me forward, gave me a Starbucks gift card and then told single women in the room to find me later so I could get their numbers. So far? Zero numbers. Desperate? Nah.

2. Odors, odors in my car...
I don't know what my guys ate this week, but everyone has been afflicted with severe gas conditions. It's a guy thing, of course, but it just seems like everyone is EXTRA gassy this week...and we're not even on a missions trip.

3. That "sweaty" guy
Right now, we're using some Sunday video curriculum featuring Doug Fields. Early on, one of our students, Tyler G., made a comment that "Doug really looks sweaty in that video." On Tuesday evening, I introduced the guys to Fields and recounted Tyler's comments. After tonight's service, the guys were getting Doug to sign some books, and Doug signed Tyler's book with "Doug Fields (Sweaty)." As he walked away, Tyler G. shook Doug's hand and said, "Bye, Sweaty." So, I'm now the youth pastor who has the student who calls Fields "Sweaty." Priceless.

4. Lots of cute girls
That's what my guys are saying, anyway. Can't say I've been watching the teen crowd as closely as they have, but it is a good reminder of a reason many guys go to things like leadership conferences, youth conventions and other big youth events.

5. Steven wants to be mentioned
Good old Steven Nelson was just awakened from his sleep by Tyler Gillespie. Steven is upset that I didn't mention him earlier in this post, so now I've mentioned his name. If only he'd start blogging again...

Student Leadership: Day 3

Another full day for our team here at the PDYM Student Leadership Conference. Highlights included a morning session on the theme of ministry, a morning and afternoon filled with real-life, hands-on, student-led ministry projects, and an inspiring evening with a 15-year-old having a global impact.

MINISTRY/Erik Rees, speaker

• Only you can be you
• Ministering in your "shape" is a form of stewardship
• Learning who you're NOT is vital
• When you do what God designed you to do, the benefit is pleasure
• I must SURRENDER my life to God
• What do you listen to when the music isn't playing?
• I must SEIZE my S.H.A.P.E. from God
• Spiritual gifts, Heart, Abilities, Personality and Experiences
• Are you "in" shape or "out" of shape?
• I must SERVE people for God
• Do. Try. Fail. Grow.
• As you serve others, you'll begin to see how God can use you to do incredible things
• Take one step forward to serve
• I must STRENGTHEN my life with God
• Does anyone in this world know you as well as God?
  

MINISTRY PROJECTS
Morning activities included a PB&J-making station, a station where students discovered how far spare change can help people in the Third World, a room where students wrote letters to "ignored" people and groups, and a spot for organizing used shoes that have ben donated to help homeless people.

In the afternoon, our teams all left the church campus and went out into Orange County. We were assigned the task of collecting spare change from people. The students were in charge -- totally! Basically, I was their driver, their chauffeur. Wow, did they enjoy that! Most of the time, I just sat in my car waiting for them to walk around and ask folks for spare change.

EVENING SESSION/Zach Hunter, speaker
Zach is an incredible kid. He's 15 years old. He's written a book. He speaks to crowds of thousands on the topic of freeing modern slavery victims. He motivates teens to collect spare change to help free those slaves. Tonight, Doug Fields did an interview format with Zach, keeping the service flowing well. Zach also took questions from students and adults in the crowd. Here are some highlights from his presentation and discussion:

• Loose change is underestimated, just like teenagers can be; people often don't expect much from loose change or teens
• Go find one thing you're passionate about, and research it, and live for it
• Passion is something Satan doesn't want us to have
• Tech gadgets can become an antiseptic that makes us apathetic
• So much suffering remains in the world because we're not willing to be used by God
• There's nothing I can give to God that He doesn't truly already have
• This generation is dying in a desert because of thirst for real ministry, real relationship with God
• See a need, get your passion stirred, and do something about it

Student leadership: Other highlights

Here are some odds-and-ends moments from day two of the Student Leadership Conference.

1. No dinner with Josh
The great Josh Griffin was going to have dinner with us. Really, he was. But then he had to back out. This is the second straight conference I've attempted to buy him a meal, and it's the second straight conference when he's been unable to join me for food. Interesting...

2. Students drive my car
Yes, two of my students drove my car. Not at the same time, of course. Steven and Tyler G. each took a spin in my car -- a manual, stick-shift transmission. Tyler had driven a stick shift once, and Steven never had before. Let's just say that it was, um, an interesting experience. My car was crying. Seriously, the guys did fine -- but we also did the driving in a near-empty parking lot this evening.

3. You don't like Chick-Fil-A?
Neither Steven nor Tyler G. enjoyed their chicken sandwiches from Chick-Fil-A at lunch today. So, Tyler B. and I got extra food. Mmmmmm...

4. Dinner and games
We ate dinner at Dave & Buster's over at the Irvine Spectrum. We had some decent food, and then played some fun arcade games. Dave & Busters is something like a grown-up John's Incredible Pizza Co., which is a more exciting version of Chuck-E-Cheese. Great time.

Student leadership: Day 2

Great second day here at the Purpose-Driven Youth Ministry Student Leadership Conference. Today's sessions covered three of the biblical purposes for the church: evangelism, fellowship and discipleship. Here are a few highlights from the main messages today:

EVANGELISM/Jeff Maguire, speaker

• Good deeds are as important to evangelism as the words we speak
• Evangelism happens in the context of our whole lives
• A good deed is anything connected to what we do or live that reflects the image and glory of God
• Our intended purpose is to reflect the image of God into the world
• Christians can choose to condemn the world, copy the world, or create good

FELLOWSHIP/Video + Doug Fields, speaker

• Growth happens through friendships filled with trust, acceptance, investment and concern
• It never stops with you; someone invested in you, so you should turn around and invest in someone else
• "Fellowship" is a deep but abused word in the Church
• We're better together
• True fellowship happens when we KNOW each other, SHOW each other when we're headed to trouble, and GROW together in our relationships with Jesus Christ
• Fellowship should be intentional
• What would it be like to REALLY be known?
  

DISCIPLESHIP/Matt McGill, speaker

• The idea of discipleship really means having a friendship with God
• To be friends with God is to become like Him
• A friend of God delights in beauty
• Do we love what God loves?
• A friend of God is driven by compassion
• Compassion is a reflex that responds to others; it can be a slow reflex or a well-developed one
• What moves you and grabs your attention?
• A friend of God discovers the truth
• To get a new perspective means admitting your last perspective was wrong
• If you don't look back and see foolishness and mistakes in your past, then you're probably not growing spiritually

Great start to leadership conference.

I'm spending this week down in Orange County with a group of guys for a student leadership conference sponsored by Purpose-Driven Youth Ministry. The conference kicked off Tuesday evening with a great first session: dynamic worship with Jadon Lavik, some hilarious games (and banter) from Josh Griffin and Allison Hibbard, and a strong, inspiring message from Doug Fields.

Doug encouraged the students (and us adult leaders, too) to be the kinds of leaders who stop, learn to be quiet and make a connection -- three priorities that can help us refuel spiritually. Some other memorable statements:

• Leaders can't lead effectively when they're spiritually empty
• Each of us has a soul that needs to be refilled
• Silence is an essential ingredient for spiritual growth
• God won't fight the noise and distractions in our lives; we must make that choice
  

There are apparently around 750 student leaders here, from all over the country. Heard about some folks from as far away as North Carolina, maybe even further. We simply hopped in the car and drove 9 hours to get here (some meals and pit stops along the way, of course).

Wish we could have brought a larger group to the conference. I didn't have an adult female leader/chaperone to join us, so I only invited guys next year. It would be great to bring back a larger team next summer.

Fireworks: Day 7

Done.

Sales? Picked up at end, but weaker than last year.

Weather? Hot, hot, hot today, but better on average than the previous 4 years.

Volunteers? Better than ever before in numbers, attitude, eagerness to serve, and wilingness to go above and beyond the call of duty.

Sometimes I think we do the fireworks booth for the money, to help with camp scholarships and ministry needs. But then I realize that the greatest investment may be the hours I spend sittin' out under the sun chatting with people from our church. And eternally speakin', that's a better investment than anything with a dollar sign.

Peace out.

Fireworks: Day 6

Well, today finally felt like a "real" fireworks booth day. We did great business throughout the day, especially in the evening. It was hot outside, I didn't put on any sunscreen, and now I'm sunburned!

Oh, and we had three suspicious brush fires on the back of our campus tonight! A fourth fire happened in the adjoining apartment complex, and I'm convinced they were all the handiwork of 1 or 2 people.

I might not sleep well tonight thinking about the brush fires, but I'm so tired that I hafta head home or else I'll fall asleep right here at my computer. Night, all!

Fireworks: Day 5

I sure hope tomorrow and Wednesday are busy, busy days. We had a good day today -- but we had the kinda sales we SHOULD have had back on Saturday or Sunday. I hate overanalyzing these things, but I'm totally perplexed by this year's sales pattern. Maybe because the Fourth is a Wednesday...few people get three- or four-day weekends, so everyone's waiting until Tuesday or Wednesday to buy. I hope so. But that means I gotta brace for two slammin' days.

Fireworks: Day 4

Wow, what a crazy day. We had good services in the morning, two great food events for the congregation, and then an awesome evening meeting for our worship team.

Oh yea, we sold some fireworks, too...but nowhere near as many as we should have on our fourth day.

Supertired now. Headin' to bed. Praying for lots of customers in the final 3 days!

Please pray for our church (and me).

Our worship pastor left our staff this week, so we've begun the process of seeking God's direction on the next step for our church. Can't go into too many details here, but I'd appreciate your prayers for guidance, wisdom, direction, creativity and discernment as we move forward with crucial conversations and decisions.

I've been visiting the gym.

And contrary to what one friend wondered, I haven't just been "visiting" the gym; I've actually been working out. At least, that's what I call it. So far, my visits have consisted of 30-minute stints on the treadmill, run/job/walking at least 2 miles at a slight incline. Heartbeat has gotten as high as 181 on the first day, but most of the time it's been around the 150-155 range. Just this week, I made it down there on Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Wanted to go today, but never got away from the fireworks booth. So, I definitely need to be there tomorrow.

Fireworks: Day 3

Not a superbusy day, but we DID sell our huge $500 assortment. That was pretty cool. Other than that, a few purchases here and there. Great conversation and interaction with the volunteers at the booth, and that's always fun. But a long, long day; was up at 7AM for an 8AM coffee meeting, then the booth from 10AM until 9:30PM. Managed to get more sun than I wanted, so my face is kinda glowing tonight.

Tomorrow has a nice, strong lineup of volunteers, so I should be able to break away at some point. Our BBQ after church may bring in more customers, too!

Fireworks: Day 2

Perhaps we aren't selling as many fireworks as I'd like, but I definitely won't complain about the first two days of weather! It's been pleasant cool all day, with lovely evening breezes. This evening, some of our volunteers even grabbed sweatshirts and blankets during our long breaks between customers.

I wonder: Do people wait to buy fireworks until it FEELS like fireworks season? The temperatures will remain pleasant all weekend but should start rising next week. We might even break 100 degrees by the Fourth of July. I'm not eager for heat, but if it takes heat to bring out the customers...

Fireworks: Day 1

Slow start to the fireworks booth. Didn't open until the afternoon. Warm day but nice breeze kept things tolerable. Only a few sales. Maybe slowest first day ever for me. But full weekend ahead. Lots of volunteers lined up. Lots of stuff to sell. Lots of fun to be had! But maybe few blog entries because of my insane schedule for the next six days. We'll see.

United Outreach Video.

Here's the video we created for the final service of our outreach event last week. We're doing a modified version for our students tonight. Enjoy.

5 stories worth a read: part cinq

Comin' at ya straight from Las Vegas...or Sacramento...five more stories worth your mental energy:

1. Huge auction shows boom in housing going, going, gone from the SF Chronicle (on sfgate.com)

2. The 'new' NEA: Reading gets bigger from cnn.com

3. Waiter, there's deer in my sushi from the International Herald Tribune

4. Does the iPhone have 'It'? Early signs are good from the International Herald Tribune

5. 'Sicko' not the whole story of Cuban health care from Reuters (on msnbc.com)

Enjoy.

Incredible outreach week.

Wow, what an awesome six days we just had. Our youth ministry teamed up with 2 other churches for our United outreach week, and we saw God do an incredible work in our students' lives.

I'm pretty exhausted from the full week of ministry, community service, prayer, nighttime services and deep fellowship. So for now, I'll throw up a few pics for you to look through. If I have enough energy later today, I'll return with some stories and highlights from our week.

Outreach week begins.

This afternoon, we begin a weeklong outreach with 2 other nearby churches. It promises to be an awesome time as we do community service projects, worship God and reach out to our neighbors.

I'm going to attempt to blog during the week, but we have very full days planned. So if you don't see much from me over the next few days, you'll read plenty of stuff over the weekend!

Billy Graham's wife died.

Sad to read this online just now, but glad to know she's in a better place:

Ruth Graham, who surrendered dreams of missionary work in Tibet to marry a suitor who became the world's most renowned evangelist, died Thursday. She was 87.

Graham died at 5:05 p.m. at her home at Little Piney Cove, surrounded by her husband and all their five children, said a statement released by Larry Ross, Billy Graham's spokesman.

"Ruth was my life partner, and we were called by God as a team," Billy Graham said in a statement. "No one else could have borne the load that she carried. She was a vital and integral part of our ministry, and my work through the years would have been impossible without her encouragement and support.

"I am so grateful to the Lord that He gave me Ruth, and especially for these last few years we've had in the mountains together. We've rekindled the romance of our youth, and my love for her continued to grow deeper every day. I will miss her terribly, and look forward even more to the day I can join her in Heaven."

5 stories worth a read: part quatre

Welcome back, friends. Today we offer you an exciting edition of 5Stories, and we hope you enjoy your stay with us.

1. Berkeley street behavior law draws some unruly remarks from the San Francisco Chronicle (via sfgate.com)

2. Survey: Working dads want more family time from CNN/careerbuilder.com

3. Futurism’s past is littered with faulty forecasts from msnbc.com

4. Barroso waves off notion of 'United States of Europe' from the International Herald Tribune

5. Old Latin Mass makes a comeback from the St. Louis Post Dispatch

And before you go, let's play a round of Jeopardy...
ANSWER: The reason Rob's posting on his blog before noon on his day off.
QUESTION: What is because one of his students called him at 7AM today? Ugh!

DOD: Grocery store update.

Last night after our youth service, I stopped in to check out our "re-opened" grocery store around the corner. Now that it's a Save Mart and not an Albertson's, I wanted to see if prices had changed much. The answer? Ehh, sorta. Some of their prices are now down into the Safeway (without club card specials) range, and others might be a little bit lower. In any case, it appears that many prices DID come down from the Albertsonstratosphere range. And that's good news. Having a grocery store is a good thing for a neighborhood, and it's likely I'll spend a little bit more of my money just around the block.

Me and my labels.

I still think I have too many labels for my blog. But interestingly, my list of labels here bears a lot of resemblance to my filing system in my office. Every now and then, I'll create a new folder to hold some material -- only to discover weeks later that I already HAD created a folder for that subject, leaving me with duplicate folders and wasted energy trying to find stuff.

Often I'll tell people I'm a failed perfectionist. My filing system proves it. Would Matt McGill say I'm mentally weak?

Great thought.

Best quote for today:

"Only people of weak character are won over by negativity."
- Doug Fields, "Your First Two Years in Youth Ministry"

Gas price miracle.

On my way to lunch today, I came across this glorious sight:


My apologies if you can't read it clearly; I was a couple of lanes away, so I couldn't get a really close shot. The price for unleaded has dropped to $2.99 9/10 at a local gas station. First time I've seen gas for "under" $3 in long time -- even if it IS just 1/10th of a penny less.

Back to basics.

As noted yesterday, I've been here at Antelope Christian Center for 4 years as youth pastor. I've decided one of the best things I can do to mark this occasion is to re-read "Your First Two Years in Youth Ministry" by Doug Fields. I read this book just before starting this job in 2003, so I figured this would be a good way of reminding myself where I'm doing well and where I need to continue to grow (though, some people are really good at emphasizing that latter area, in much unkinder words). Should be a fun adventure!

DOD: Our grocery store closed.

Yes folks, you read those words correctly. Our neighborhood grocery store closed today.

And I couldn't be happier.

Don't worry. I'm alright (I think). I'm happy because the "closed" store was an Alberton's location, and the "soon-to-reopen" store will be a Save Mart. I've shopped occasionally at the store because I believe in the value of a grocery store in my neighborhood, but the prices are WAY too expensive. Save Mart SHOULD have lower prices, based on what I experienced back in my Turlock days.

In any case, come Wednesday, the store will be a Save Mart, and I'll give them a shot at saving me some grocery cash from my budget.

Four years. Wow.

This totally crept up on me today. I was looking at my calendar, and I thought there was some kinda significance to June 10 or 11. Looked back a few years in my PDA and realized that four years ago yesterday, on June 10, 2003, I had my first youth service here at Antelope Christian Center.

Four years. Wow.

In one post, I can't even begin to capture all the memories, experiences, lessons, trials, challenges, and rewards I've seen over the last four years. I've been stretched, refined, challenged, satisfied, frustrated, overjoyed, overwhelmed, excited, honored -- the list goes on and on.

Four years in one job, one position marks a personal milestone for me:
* Longer than high school (August 1987-June 1991)
* Longer than college (August 1991-May 1995)
* Longer than my first post-college job (October 1995-February 1999)
* Longer than I've lived in one apartment (May 1996-March 1999)
* Longer than my stint in Berkeley (March 1999-July 2000)
* Longer than I was on a church staff in Turlock (February 2002-June 2003)

Wow. Four years. It's both easy and tough to believe it's been that long. Sometimes it seems like I just arrived here yesterday. Sometimes I feel like I've been here forever.

Guess I suddenly find myself in a pensive mood today, and thought I'd share.

5 stories worth a read: part trois

From the land of cybermilk and honey, here are 5 stories you should read before the end of today. And none of them has anything to do with Paris Hilton. Well, maybe one of them does:

1. Viral campaign spreading: Online marketing effort may germinate into business leads from The San Francisco Chronicle (on sfgate.com)

2. Agreement reached in street-naming squabble: Turlock commissioner's design appeals to most from The Modesto Bee

3. Clemens’ never-retiring act has grown thin from The Associated Press (on msnbc.com)

4. Cracking Down on "Murderabilia" from Time Magazine

5. We all wanted to see Paris get fabulous comeuppance from The San Francisco Chronicle (on sfgate.com)

As always, enjoy!

Rob got robbed.

Every now and then, Mark Oestreicher from Youth Specialties will post a photo in need of a caption. Seeing how's the big man at YS, he can actually give away a prize to the winning caption. Thus, he gets lots of entries.

This was his most recent photo:














I, along with several dozen other people, submitted our ideas, and my caption was actually considered a contender:

“Luke, I am your father. And this is your mother.”
“Noooooooo!”

Well, Marko decided that instead of him deciding the winner, he'd call on Josh Griffin, the uberfan of all things Star Wars, and Griff would pick da winner.

I didn't win. Joshua picked some lame caption about "Begun, the squirrel wars have."

(Actually, I did think that one was pretty funny. I just wanted to win a book.)

My only consolation is knowing that my caption got high marks from Marko's son Max, who "really loved this one." And if a 9-year-old thinks your caption is cool, who else's opinion really matters, right?

Episode 50 is not a myth.

Contrary to what I previously wrote, Episode 50 of the Simply Youth Ministry podcast is not a myth. It's now a reality. The team was back in action, but it was a swan song episode for Natalie. Apparently she's actually paid to design and create things for Simply Youth Ministry; I thought she was a professional bell-ringer.

They promise many changes for the future. We'll see. But an enjoyable episode once again (even if no one really won their "best ideas for the 50th episode" competition).

Me and my DVDs.

I own a couple of DVDs. Well, maybe more than a couple. I was stoked yesterday when I found out that the 8th season of 'Seinfeld' was finally being released on DVD. It got me thinking about all the different TV shows I own on DVD. Let's review.

COMPLETE SEASONS
The X-Files (9 seasons)
24 (Seasons 1-5; Season 6 not yet released)
Monty Python's Flying Circus (45 episodes)
The Lone Gunmen (13 episodes)
Fawlty Towers (12 episodes)

PARTIAL COLLECTIONS
Seinfeld (Seasons 1-6; 7 & 8 on their way from amazon.com)
The West Wing (Seasons 1-4)
The Simpsons (Seasons 1-3)
Star Trek: Deep Space Nine (Seasons 3 and 4)
Lost (Season 1)

5 stories worth a read: volume deux

Here are 5 more stories you should read online if you're bored, looking to grow in your potential as a human being, or owe me some kind of favor.

1. If it's not tennis elbow, it may be 'Wiiitis' from Reuters (on cnn.com)

2. Senior prank gets Palo Alto High School senior arrested from The San Francisco Chronicle

3. Bob Barker tapes final 'Price Is Right' from The Associated Press (on sfgate.com)

4. British turn up their noses at London Olympics logo from the International Herald Tribune

5. Rapper with attitude updates 'Frenchness' from the International Herald Tribune

Enjoy the reads.

Food fight fun.

This is an awesome article from The Associated Press:

Aurora, Ill. -- A high school senior accused of starting a massive food fight that left a police officer injured was among three students arrested in the prank.

At least 200 students were in West Aurora High School's cafeteria when french fries, milk, sandwiches and pizza slices were hurled in a free-for-all, authorities said.

"It was just insane," said senior Zach Little, who was in the cafeteria when the melee began Thursday. "Things like milk cartons, full pop bottles and blue slushies were flying around. Kids literally bought the food to throw it and, to me, that's a little expensive."

The alleged instigator, Demetrius Oglesby, 18, faces a felony charge of resisting arrest after authorities said he ran from a police officer. The officer tripped over another student who had fallen during the food fight, breaking his foot. A school official also suffered minor injuries.

Two juveniles also face misdemeanor charges from the incident, including a 15-year-old charged with mob action and disorderly conduct and a 14-year-old charged with assault.

Students said rumors of the food fight had been circulating throughout the 3,000-student school all week as a senior prank.

"A prank is something that's funny and doesn't harm anything or anyone, but a food fight is entirely different — a bad choice, bad judgment," said Principal John Glimco.

Administrators increased security at the school 30 miles west of Chicago and closed the cafeteria on Friday. The lunch area will remain closed on Monday, the last day of classes.

"There will be consequences for the students involved," said Mike Chapin, a spokesman for West Aurora School District 129.

Pentecostals and Charismatics.

Found a great article by Earl Creps, who teaches back at The Assemblies of God Theological Seminary in Springfield, Mo. (For the record, my ministerial credentials are with The Assemblies of God, and I attended the A/G's main liberal arts college back in Springfield.) The article's been out for a year, but I just came across it today:

From small beginnings the charismatic/Pentecostal movement attained global status in the 20th century, becoming one of the few renewals of its kind to enjoy a lasting influence. Expanding geographically in an almost viral fashion, the movement spread from one continent to another, earning the label of "a religion made to travel" by constantly shaping itself to what sociologist David Martin calls the "cultural receptivity" of its host.
Academic studies of this "tourist" religion, such as Philip Jenkins' The Next Christendom, have produced a consensus: rather than disappearing from the planet, the future of Christianity is looking more and more like Southern Hemisphere Pentecostalism.

However, these broad-scale studies can obscure the fact that the American stream of the movement, particularly in its Anglo version, is experiencing significant challenges.

5 stories worth a read

These aren't necessarily 5 stories that make the biggest headlines, and you may have seen the articles already. But these are 5 stories that I found intriguing as a youth pastor, as a leader, as a person:

1. Sex peddled as power in pornified girl culture from The Associated Press

2. Bank overdraft fees: Help may be on the way from MSNBC

3. Greece is awaiting huge wave of tourists from the International Herald Tribune

4. The Force is strong at MJC tribute to Lucas, 'Star Wars' from The Modesto Bee

5. '08 Dark Horse Running Strong ... in Cyberspace from ABCnews.com

And for those of you who might complain that all 5 picks come from MSM (mainstream media) sources, well, tough. Deal with it, amigos.

Too much for one service?

Ever tried to do a lot in a single Sunday service? That was our 11AM service today. Here's a rundown:

• 2 water baptisms
• Worship in music
• Communion
• Baby dedication
• Missions emphasis
• Funny grad video
• Honoring graduates
• Sermon

Somehow, we managed to get through it all without "cheapening" any of the elements. Still, it made for a very full service.

A few added extras:

• One of our graduating seniors used to always swipe, er, borrow my teaching stool during youth services. Today, we "retired" that stool by giving it to him as a graduation gift. Congrats, J.C., and all the other members of the class of 2007!
• Last time I visited my mom, I found an old box containing my high school cap and gown. So, I put them on in the middle of service, and called off the names of our grads while wearing my high school colors.
• My mom came up today to hear me preach in this service, and she covertly took a photo of me in my cap and gown. I'll work on posting it at some point; I had no idea she took the photo!
• Had some people over to my house after service for a fun cookout. Lots of great food and conversation!

Some worship pics.

These are some photos that one of our parents, Rawge Jones, took during last week's youth worship service. We're still doin' the band in the back!

Bombarded by messages.

Tired of commercials? Aren't we all...

Fueled by a growing sense of desperation, networks are inserting games, quizzes and mini-dramas into commercial breaks. They're incorporating more product pitches into programming. Two experimental programs without traditional commercial breaks will premiere this fall. NBC has even called on Jerry Seinfeld for help.

This is all being done to stop viewers with DVRs from fast-forwarding through advertisements, or to circumvent those that do.

Adding to the urgency, this week Nielsen Media Research begins offering ratings for commercial breaks, instead of just the shows around them.

"We all need to become more creative in how we incorporate sponsors into a program," said Ed Swindler, executive vice president for NBC Universal ad sales. "No one on the creative side or the business side wants to make commercials intrusive, but we do need to commercialize efficiently so viewers can afford to get free television."

I found this article interesting because it ties into a book I just finished reading today, "The Big Idea" by Dave Ferguson, Jon Ferguson and Eric Bramlett. Probably will post on it and another recent read later tonight.

Personal posting record.

Geek moment. This post marks my 26th post of the month, which is the most number of posts I've made in one month since I started blogging last year. Totally insignificant fact, but read it, consume it, ponder it, devour it, enjoy it.

Just like I enjoyed some steak on the grill earlier this afternoon. And will enjoy another barbecue with some friends later this evening. Yum, yum. I don't always take full advantage of Monday holidays, but this week I am, and I'm enjoying it. Wrapped up the first season of 24 on DVD late, late, late last night. Fun re-viewing all of that.

Episode 50 is a myth.

Our friends over at Simply Youth Ministry are busy folks. We all know that. But life apparently has become SO busy that four well-meaning adults are unable to sit down for an hour of laughter and fun -- the hour we all like to call the Simply Youth Ministry Podcast.

Episode 49 was posted in iTunes on April 21. Today is May 28. That's how hectic their lives have been. Not that I have any room to talk, when it comes to posting things, or hitting deadlines, or things like that. But Episode 50, will it ever happen? Maybe Andy got mad because he didn't want to give 50 free products to the person with the best content idea for the episode. Perhaps we will never know. (Unless Josh blogs about it, which I'm sure he will, after fending off the little Jawas and oddly attired people in his Star Wars cult.)

Dodgers do something right.

Finally, a good reason to visit Dodgers Stadium:

Luis Serrano is working on his second Dodger Dog and the game hasn't even begun. "On a good night, I'll eat seven," he said, smiling. That's how it goes in the new all-you-can-eat seats way out in right field at Dodger Stadium, where fans wolf down as many Dodger Dogs, nachos, peanuts, popcorn and soda as their bellies allow for one price.

Bring your own antacids.

Great report from the doctor!

My mom got great news from her oncologist this morning: He doesn't want to see her for two months, and there's no reason for any continued treatment right now for her cancer! He didn't use the word "remission" but it's clear that most of her body remains cancer-free!

There is an area in her abdomen that he wants to continue keeping a close eye on, but other than that things look great. I was glad I drove down to be with her, especially if the news had been less than good. But being there for the good report was special, too!

Visiting my mom tonight.

I drove down to Turlock this evening so I could be here with my mom tomorrow. She goes to see the doctor in the morning to get the results of her recent PT scan. This will reveal if her body is still nearly free of cancer, or if any cancer has returned.

If you believe in the power of prayer, please continue to pray for my mom. I know that the doctor already has the results from the tests, but I also know that God can do incredibly, powerful things when we pray. I'll post an update Wednesday afternoon to let everyone know how she's doing.

Christians at UC Berkeley.

To say the San Francisco Chronicle isn't always fair to evangelical Christians would be putting it mildly. The SF Bay Area is a region with incredibly low percentages of Christians and churches (parts of the East Bay are an exception, perhaps), so the Chron's weak coverage isn't always because of bias.

Anyway, the newspaper's website SFGate posted a well-written balanced article today about Asian-American evangelical students at UC Berkeley. Here's a snippet:

At Cal -- which now has among the highest Asian American attendance in the nation at 43 percent of undergraduates -- InterVarsity was predominantly white until the late 1980s. Within a couple of years, it became predominantly Asian American and now offers separate fellowships for Filipino, black and Latino members. The "multiethnic" fellowship is the largest, but its roughly 200 members are mostly East Asian, with a handful of white students and members of other races.

Many students attend Christian fellowships affiliated with their local churches instead of joining campus ministries, so it is hard to gauge the overall proportion of evangelical students attending UC Berkeley.

Attendance at weekly fellowships offered by InterVarsity and Campus Crusade for Christ -- large group sessions with singing and speakers and small groups for intimate Bible discussions -- isn't meant to replace going to church. But it enables worship during the week and offers a social network, which is important at large schools, where students seek subgroups to avoid feeling lost.

A season of loss?

These have been interesting weeks around our church. In the last two weeks, we've had five different funerals, and within the last couple of months, I think there were at least two or three others.

The funerals have covered the range of experiences and emotions. An 18-year-old young man fatally shot. A greatgrandmother who had been married for 63 years. A man in his 40s who was a heroin addict for 20 years until God radically changed his life.

This morning's funeral struck an unexpected emotional cord for me. Near the end of the service, all of the grandchildren, great-grandchildren and extended family members each took a rose and placed it on the top of the closed casket. That sight reminded me of my grandparents' funerals, and my eyes started to well up with tears. Seeing a family's legacy is such an emotional experience; the loss of loved ones is a pain, a wound, an absence that never totally heals, never fully disappears.

Nice sight.

A nice joy of home ownership: A cool hummingbird was just flying around my backyard, enjoying the sweet nectar of my pomegranate tree. Super cool to see that. We don't have a bird feeder, so it takes a bird being drawn to "natural" sources for things like this to appear. Quite cool.

An accomplished teen.

Just read about an 18-year-old from Southern California who climbed Mt Everest this week, becoming the youngest person to ever climb all the so-called "7 Summits," the highest mountain on each of the seven continents.

It's quite impressive for anyone to accomplish, especially for someone fresh out of high school. There was a multi-episode show on the Discovery Channel some months ago about climbing Everest, and I recently read a book about the March 1996 disasters while climbing the mountain ("Into Thin Air" by Jon Krakauer).

Mountains are cool. No way I could ever climb anything like Everest or Denali or anything that huge, but they're amazing to see, admire and respect.

Mike needs to blog.

I have a friend in Turlock named Mike. He's a cool guy, just graduated (finally) from Menlo College earlier this month. He and I ate breakfast today, and he was telling me some stories from his life right now. And I'm sitting there, thinkin, this guy needs a blog.

Example:
Mike and his wife have an apartment. They have a fridge, but it's not the one they bought. The one they bought is in the shop being repaired. So they got this loaner. Only the loaner has plenty of its own issues. Mainly, the fridge door won't stay shut. So they have to keep a chair up against the door to keep it closed.

So basically, his life is SO interesting he needs to keep a blog. He'd have lots of funny tales to keep us all entertained.

Good day.

Today has been a good day. Here are some reasons why:

* Ran media at a meaningful funeral this morning at the church.
* Had a productive meeting with some parents about their teen.
* Worked with one of my roommates on building a gazebo for the back yard.
* Enjoyed some chicken cooked out on the grill.
* Chilled out in the backyard under the new gazebo, surrounded by tiki torches.
* Watched Star Wars: Episode III with the music really loud.

And tomorrow is Mother's Day, so I'll be driving down to see my mom after morning church. We'll have lunch together, then I'll spend the evening down in Turlock before coming back to Sac. Should be another good, meaningful day.

D'ya ever notice?

Today I finally got around to getting my new registration tags on my car. I had intended to do it earlier (they were due April 20), but I had misplaced the forms from the state. Last night I finally found them.

In the last week or so, and even today after getting the new tags, I was surprised by just how many cars DON'T have current registration stickers. Just a few minutes ago, I was behind a car whose new sticker should have been added in January. I've seen a lot of fellow-violators from the month of April, and I even saw one this morning from October of last year.

I guess we're low-priority violators for cops, but I've spent the last few days with close eyes on the road, to make sure no cop pulled directly behind me and saw my expired tags. Maybe I'd get a ticket, maybe I wouldn't, maybe it would just be a warning. But I didn't want to take a risk. Fortunately, now there is no longer a risk. For me, anyway.

I'd like to apologize: Volume 5

It's Thursday, which means it's time to get something off my chest -- and I'm not just talking about the pizza sauce from the Round Table Pizza that I ate tonight. So, this week I offer my apologies:

* To Katie Webb, for throwing a roll at her when I ate dinner with the family.
* To Katie Webb, for throwing it while her mom wasn't watching.
* To Mike Lara, for doing all his dishes.
* To our congregation Sunday morning, for starting the first song just a liiiiiitle bit too fast.
* To Aaron, Christina and Andrew, for embarrassing them during junior high chapel yesterday (but thanks for being good sports).
* To Brandon Groll, for missing his birthday -- oh wait, I remembered it...
* To Jennifer and Steven Nelson, for subjecting you to potentially contaminated chicken last Friday night (and no, I wasn't the one cooking).
* To the woman at BloodSource who drew my blood donation today, for cringing when she didn't quite hit my vein correctly.
* To Howard Dean, for making fun of him in a post earlier today.
* To my Kansas City Royals, for forgetting that they're in town playing the Oakland A's next week.
* To Levi Jones, for losing track of his email address.
* To the Battaglia family, for their loss this week.
* To all of you, for whatever hurt, pain, wound, injury you may have suffered this week at the hands of those who claim to love ya.

Is it bad when Howard Dean likes you?

I'm sure last night's comments from Democratic National Committee chair Howard Dean will generate negative feedback for people like Rick Warren and Joel Osteen:

Dean -- who once drew criticism by dismissing the GOP as a "white Christian party" -- told a San Francisco audience that his party should open its arms to a new group of converts: young evangelical Christian voters.

"We ought to reach out to those folks ... and not be afraid," Dean told an audience of about 125 at a $50-a head Democratic National Committee fundraiser Wednesday night at the Palace Hotel. The national party chairman noted that in the wake of the 2006 midterm election, nearly 30 percent of evangelical Christians now identify themselves as Democratic voters, up 10 percentage points from the previous election.

Dean credited the jump in numbers to the party's recent aggressive outreach. "We went out and advertised on Christian broadcast networks ... because in the evangelical movement, young people are changing America -- and they're changing the evangelical movement."

"People don't want to go to church anymore ... and come out feeling bad because they happen to know somebody who's gay," he said. "People want to go to church because they know what they can do about poverty, about Darfur, about the environment."

Dean specifically cited the positive impacts of Christian leaders such as Rick Warren -- author of the best-selling "The Purpose-Driven Life," and pastor of the Orange County-based Saddleback Church -- and of young pastor Joel Osteen, the televangelist sensation who has welcomed House Speaker Nancy Pelosi to his Houston-based Lakewood Church.

"Those people don't beat up on other people to make their point and raise a lot of money," he said. "And we need to reach out to those folks, and work with them, and not be afraid. There is common cause with folks that we never thought we had common cause with."

I feel such comfort in knowing that Howard Dean says I'm the kinda guy Democrats shouldn't be "afraid" to go after. Especially after the way I treated that last DNC canvasser who came to my door.

I happen to enjoy being a registered non-partisan. Gives me wiggle room, but also gives me distance from both major political parties. Neither is a solid party, neither presents a truly biblical worldview, and neither is headed in the right direction right now. Gee, I just can't wait until next year's presidential election.

(And don't leave negative messages about the Dean pic. Of course the cat wasn't there in the original photo. I just happen to like this one better.)

Picking a youth conference.

My email inbox included a message today from the folks at Youth Specialties promoting their fall lineups for the National Youth Workers Convention. The West Coast edition happens in San Diego in October, and right now, it doesn't conflict with any major events happening at our church.

But I face a dilemma this year. San Diego is a driveable event; I attended the 2006 conference in Anaheim, so I get an "alumni" rate; I know of at least one ministry friend who's planning to be at San Diego. All great reasons to go.

There's a good reason not to go, however. In February 2008, Group and Simply Youth Ministry are holding their second annual National Youth Ministry Conference (sure glad folks don't make the event names confusing or anything...), and I'd love to go. Of course, it's in Cincinnati next year; it would require a flight; and it's in February, which is just such a lovely time of year to visit Ohio.

Lots of reasons to attend both conferences, and money is one reason I probably can't. Registration for these puppies can be pretty steep, and the travel expenses add to the financial dint. YS' event has proven to be a good conference over the last three years I've attended, but the Group/SYM convention takes a different take and approach and I've heard great things about the 2007 conference.

I don't have to decide today, fortunately, but at some point I must choose. We'll see which way I go.

Our worship experiment: An update.

This is week 4 in our continuing "worship experiment" in our midweek youth services. Back on April 18, we decided to move the band behind the crowd. In other words, when students look forward, all they see is the wall where we project the words. No vocalists. No musicians. No amps. No drums. Just words about loving God, serving God, worshiping God.

Initially, we caught flack from a few teens who aren't used to this notion. They felt uncomfortable because they couldn't watch the guitarist or drummer play. They felt weird closing their eyes or lifting up their hands during this segment of the service.

Well, tonight we took our experiment one step further and did a full "worship night" event. We did two extended sets of musical worship, but we added some extra elements. Isabelle is the student who usually prays for our offering; this week she also read some scripture from 2 Corinthians 9. Other students and leaders came up to read portions of scripture, some focused directly on worship, others talking about how awesome God is or how He meets our needs.

We anticipated ending around 8:10, with some food and fellowship time at the end. But we ended up going until almost 8:30, so our homemade brownies were consumed while we did end-of-service teardown in our modular.

Is our experiment working? I think so. Our band has been freer over the last 4 weeks than it has been in a long, long time. They're more confident and focused. Our crowd has more participation, and more students seem comfortable doing things beyond just clapping or singing. More are closing their eyes, lifting up their hands. Really cool stuff.

Too many labels?

I was just looking at the right-hand side of my blog, and I noticed that I have lots of labels for my entries. I mean, LOTS of labels. More labels than I can recall seeing on most other people's blogs. Various theories to explain this:

1. I cover such a breadth of subjects that a myriad labels must be used.

2. I'm so disorganized that I can't logically arrange subject matters.

3. I use my labels as sub-subtopic identifiers, instead of higher-level identifiers.

Or maybe all three are correct. Dunno.

I heart our new copier.

Go ahead, call me a geek. I don't care. We got a new copier (a Konica Minolta Bizhub 600) in our church office last week, and I'm in love with this piece of technology.

For the most part, it's a basic copier. It makes two-sided documents. It staples. Jobs can be interrupted. It has multiple ways to load paper. That's all pretty standard for this type of machine.

But now I can print directly from my computer, and we can even use our wireless network to send files to the copier. So, instead of making an original on my laser printer, walking into the copy room, running the machine and waiting for the final product, I can directly send my project to the copier. It will staple. It will do two-side documents. It's really, really cool.

And I'm not sure what it says about me, that I'm so stoked over a new copier. But whatever it says, it says.

Is it summer already?

Right now, at 5:20PM, it's 93 degrees here in lovely Antelope, California. According to my calendar, it's just the 8th day of May. But it feels more like mid-June or mid-September. Perhaps it seems odd because it was raining last week. Rain is good. I like rain now and then. But it's likely we won't see rain here again until, oh, October or so. Shucks.

Hit us where it hurts.

This was a scary article on cnn.com today about gas prices. Scary, but not surprising:

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- With gas prices near record highs, experts say $4-a-gallon gasoline is just around the corner.

"I think it's going to happen," said Phil Flynn, a senior market analyst at Alaron Trading in Chicago. "Unless things change dramatically, I think we're going to see $4 a gallon."

Already, prices in California average $3.48 a gallon, according to the motorist organization AAA. And one service station in San Francisco was charging $3.95, according to GasBuddy.com, a handy site that lists the cheapest and most expensive gas stations by city and state across the country.

Refinery problems and strong demand are the two main reasons cited for the runup. Prices hit a record high of $3.07 a gallon, according to the Lundberg survey released Sunday.

Every time I read an article like this, it makes me more and more thankful that I drive a Honda Civic Coupe. And I pray more intensely for those of you who own SUVs.

Sing, sing a song.

For the second straight week, I've filled in for one of the other pastors at our church. Last week, my senior pastor was gone, so I got to preach in our second service (another pastor spoke in the first service). Today, our worship pastor was gone, so I led worship in the second service.

I enjoy singing, and I enjoy leading a team and congregation in worship. But I find greater satisfaction and fulfillment in preaching. Guess it's just more in tune with the way I'm wired.

First of the season.

Super cool, real-time blogging. Was sitting at my computer. Ice cream truck drove by. First of the season. Much joy to share with all of you.

Good choices.

So, today is the 4th straight day I've gone without drinking soda. Maybe that's not a big deal for you or people you know. For me? It's a biggie. I'm really making a commitment to cutting out the soda, trimming away the few fast food cravings, and focusing on better food. I've even been buying more fruit and veggies at the grocery store. Good for me!

Junk News: Edition 1

From the world of junk and nonsense and silliness and things that have no real impact on our daily lives come these stories:

A judge sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in jail Friday for violating her probation, putting the brakes on the hotel heiress' famous high life.

Hilton, who parlayed her name and relentless partying into worldwide notoriety, must go to jail on June 5 and she will not be allowed any work release, furloughs, use of an alternative jail or any electronic monitoring in lieu of jail, Superior Court Judge Michael T. Sauer ruled after a hearing.

The judge ruled that she was in violation of the terms of her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.

"I'm very sorry and from now on I'm going to pay complete attention to everything. I'm sorry and I did not do it on purpose at all," she told the judge before announced the sentence.

Well, at least she's sorry...that's what really matters, isn't it?

How about this gem of a career:

As cartography projects go, Christian Nold's approach to charting the peaks and valleys of urban landscapes is decidedly unconventional.

First, he outfits volunteers with global positioning system devices and the sensors used in lie detector tests. Then, he sends his subjects out to wander their neighborhoods. When they return, Nold asks them to recount what they saw and felt when the polygraph recorded a quickened heartbeat or an elevated blood pressure.

"Tried to stomp on some pigeons," one tester recalled after a stroll through the chic bohemian Mission District of San Francisco, California.

"House right here, it reminded me of flowers at a funeral," another said of what he saw a few blocks south.

"Security guard at a business giving lollipops to kids. I think I wanted one," still another volunteer observed.

Nold, a London-based artist, calls his work "emotional mapping." Having mapped settings as varied as industrial areas of Bangladesh and the red light district of Brussels, Belgium, he recently arrived in San Francisco for his first U.S. project.

He's the first to acknowledge that the intimate portraits that result from his endeavors won't help a confused tourist get from Fisherman's Wharf to Golden Gate Park. Instead, by taking polygraph technology out of the criminal realm, his goal is to offer a commentary on the subjective nature of reality.

So, when people say they left their heart in San Francisco, they might actually be right?

And let's cap it off with this one, thought some of you might disagree with its inclusion in "Junk News" this week:

Queen Elizabeth II strolled Friday through a replica of a fortress built four centuries ago at what would become America's first permanent English settlement, then saw remains of the actual structure.

The queen, flanked by Vice President Dick Cheney and Virginia Gov. Timothy M. Kaine, strolled through Jamestown's tourist village of thatch-roofed buildings to commemorate the settlement's 400th anniversary.

The queen was greeted by retired Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor, who said American law derived from Great Britain "is the great and lasting achievement we celebrate today."

Large crowds waited amid tight security to see the queen, lining her path through Jamestown Settlement.

The queen toured a replica of an armory, and she smiled as she touched a gloved hand to a 17th century breastplate.

She walked to the James River, where replicas of the three ships that the settlers arrived in were docked. A cannon was fired from one of the ships in tribute to her.

Here's why I call the queen's visit Junk News. Isn't this just another form of celebrity watching? We don't have royals in the U.S. like they do in the U.K., so we're left to admire and adore our singers and athletes and authors and talk show hosts and drug addicts and ... hmmm, nvm.

But every now and then, a "true" royal sets foot on our shores and we go all goo-goo for him or her. Just seems a bit odd to me. We fought a war to free ourselves from these peeps and now we love 'em to death? Weird.

I'd like to apologize: Volume 4

It's Thursday, which means it's time to get something off my chest...and I'm not just talkin' about the massive work of fiction I tried reading today. Anyway, this week my apologies are headed toward:

* To Cindy and Katie Webb, for cheating online and telling them the results of the American Idol show on Wednesday night.
* To Dr Pepper, for abruptly ending my lifelong relationship this week.
* To my friends at Freedom Fireworks, who provide a totally entertaining training sessions each year -- despite what I wrote in my previous post.
* To all the Tylers I know...Combs, Gillespie, Bewick, Anderson, Snyder, Hale... for confusing their last names far too frequently.
* To the wonderful folks at Round Table Pizza, who haven't seen me in weeks.
* To Melody Brown, for making her memorize my sandwich order at Togo's.
* To Mike Amaya, for missing his college graduation party...because of some silly fireworks thing tonight. Ugh.
* To all the coffeehouse night attendees last week, who heard me play the violin publicly for the first time in a long, long time.
* To Dustin Basye, for not calling you up to have lunch when I was on your end of town this week.
* To the folks in church Sunday morning, for my phone crashing and not being able to receive your text messages in the middle of my sermon as I had planned.
* To the folks in church who did the right thing and kept their cell phones at home, for springing an unexpected surprise on them.
* To all of you who think I actually wrote this on Thursday instead of Friday, for attempting to trick ya.
* To our junior highers at our school, for missing yet another chapel service with ya.
* To our friends down in Mexico, just because.

The joy of fireworks.

It ain't the Fourth of July yet, but my mind's afixed on fireworks.

Tonight is our annual meeting with our fireworks company and the county firefighters where we are subjected to the same list of rules, policies, and procedures that we hear every year before selling fireworks.

We can't begin selling until June 28, but I guess tonight's event gets my mind focused on this wonderful annual madness. In some parts of California, you can't sell any kind of fireworks. We get 7 days out of the year here to sell "safe and sane" fireworks. "Wimpy and limited" would be another accurate description.

But it's a great fund-raiser for our youth ministry, it gives parents and other adults a place to connect, and it's usually a great avenue for attracting some new volunteers each year.

Tonight's event? Ugh. But I'm hanging with some cool people from our church, so that makes it all worthwhile. They're serving food, too, but it's at a new venue so I don't know how good it will be this time. We'll see!

Poetic injustice.

Simple Words
The smallest words can have the biggest impact, even when we use them in a way that intends no impact at all, like when we think the person of whom we speak will never hear the words that flow from our mouth, even though we know from the pains and trials of our experience that words work like boomerangs, flowing through the air of life from one person to the next, often striking innocent verbal victims, who then share their pain and those unintended verbal arrows with the people nearest to them, thus continuing a pattern of hurt and resentment and suffering, which may not have been our intent when we first spoke those seemingly small, insignificant words but became the ultimate result nonetheless.


River Walk
We enjoyed our walk along the river, which was richly covered by trees and shrubs, all of which released a life-giving sense of calm and peace and relaxation, things we too often don’t find in a mad, mad, mad, mad world like ours, in a society that tells us to go, go, go and push, push, push, a society that tells us rest is a four-letter word, an accurate presentation of a fact but hardly the insult our culture intends, for when we discover the joy of rest we will discover more joys of life, and when we encourage ourselves to live lives of rest, we will find that we are a little less stressed and a little less worried and a little less frustrated and a little less anxious and a little less angry and a little less mad and a little less obnoxious, and a little more patient and a little more loving and a little more thoughtful and a little more balanced and a little more focused and a little more calm and peaceful and relaxed, just like the trees and shrubs along the wonderfully flowing, life-giving river.


The Camera
At the heart of the camera sits the lens, a masterful creation and a wonderful revealer of the world around us, a world filled with greens and blues and reds and yellows, colors that in one moment may blind us, in another moment lure us, in still another moment confuse us into thinking that left is right and right is left, that truth is a lie and a lie is the truth, confusion that can cause our minds to shake and our brains to shudder and our eyes to water and our ears to wonder if all we know and learn is true or false, right or wrong, here or there, real or fake like the world of The Matrix, with all of us living in some kind of dream world that seems better yet worse than a world to come, a world that is lacking yet yearning for a day to arrive, a world that is needy and hurting and empty and alone and isolated yet also hopeful and loving and optimistic and wonderful and God-blessed and God-created and God-ordained in a way that the camera can never quite capture, even as it gives us glimpses into the soul and heart and mind of what it means to be us.